


Adventures in Prince-Sitting

by Lumelle



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Baby Dwarves, Babysitting, Dwalin Is A Softie, Fluff and Humor, Future Fic, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 12:00:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumelle/pseuds/Lumelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking after your nephew for half a day isn't that big of a deal, really. Except when said nephew happens to be a prince of Durin's line, second in line to the throne, and really quite the destructive little beast for something that's only known how to walk for a few months. His Highness is lucky he's cute, really.</p><p>Nori really isn't sure why Ori thinks he can handle a baby. Fortunately, he can always make Dwalin help him, or else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Prince-Sitting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thorinsmut](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorinsmut/gifts).



> Written in response to a request by [Thorinsmut]() after leaving the 900th comment on [Growing Dwarves (And Kingdoms)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/archiveofourown.org/works/3163292). I hope this is fluffy enough!
> 
> In this fic, Fíli and Ori have a baby son, despite both being male. I haven't expanded on how the son came to be, because frankly that's not relevant to the story. Maybe dwarves are different about genders, maybe one of them is trans, maybe they carved the kid out of jewels and marble. Pick your favourite theory or just don't think about it too much, that's hardly the point here.
> 
> The baby's name, Kiri, is (besides a combination of Kíli + Ri) a Finnish word meaning "(he) caught up (in a race)" or sometimes "(he) sped up/left others further behind", which I felt is quite appropriate here.

Over the ten-odd years that has passed since their reclaiming of Erebor, Dwalin had learnt to expect quite a variety of things when he arrived in his rooms.

At first, of course, Balin had often been there, as they all conserved precious fuel by living with family units instead of claiming separate quarters. With Balin being Balin, this had meant that at times he'd had to sidestep piles of paperwork just to get to his bed. As at the time he'd only really come to their rooms for sleep, that hadn't been much of a hardship.

However, even after the situation improved and he managed to claim a simple set of rooms for himself, it seemed he simply could not claim his personal space as truly personal. Various people seemed to find them the perfect place to escape to when they wanted some privacy, so Dwalin got rather used to coming home only to find a distraught king fretting over how to approach his little hobbit, or one prince or another worrying about their courting gifts. On one memorable occasion he had come home only to find Bilbo standing outside the door, only for the hobbit to launch into what surely passed for an interrogation into what he might do to court the stubborn king himself. Honestly, you'd have thought Dwalin actually had any skill in such matters, with how often he was bothered with them.

Of course, then his little game of cat and mouse with Nori turned into something more, and instead of people waiting at his door he might find surprises inside his rooms instead. And, instead of the unexpected but not unpleasant surprise of finding Nori waiting for him, he sometimes encountered things such as an array of newly polished and sharpened knives, rather meticulous notes on some secret conspiracy hatched against the royal family, or once — and only once — the braids of a dwarf who had been too vocal about his disapproval of the crown prince's courtship of a mere scribe.

It really was quite a lot easier to fulfil his duties of keeping the royal family safe and sound when he had such dedicated help. It even made up for the terribly cold feet that somehow always found their way on his side of the bed.

So really, he shouldn't have been terribly surprised at whatever he found in his — fine, their — rooms at this point. Even so, because Nori was Nori and delighted in making his life strange at every passing opportunity, he found himself walking into his rooms on an otherwise ordinary day only to hear crying.

Well. That was really not something he'd expected. Particularly since this was clearly the crying of a child.

"Nori?" Because who else would be here in his absence? "Is something the matter?"

In response, Nori swept out of the bedroom, holding a wailing infant. "Thank Mahal you're here," he sighed, thrusting the child at him. "He's been fed and I checked his nappies but he won't stop crying."

"Right." Dwalin caught the child in his arms more by instinct than anything, staring down at the familiar little face. Messy golden hair and whiskers, a pudgy face wet with tears and snot, soft blue sweater. Well, at least he didn't have to worry about Nori kidnapping random children. "And why exactly is His Highness here?"

"Because apparently the Iron Hills delegation arriving today means everyone else is busy, including his parents, grandmother, uncles, and aunt, all except me. Why that means I should be trusted with a babe is quite beyond me, but I figure Ori's still delusional about me and Fíli has a glorified image of uncles in general."

"Well, Thorin did look after the lads often when they were little." As he spoke Dwalin adjusted the child in his arms, starting to bounce him a little. "How long are you supposed to have him?"

"We, thank you very much. You're not going to leave him alone with me if you know what's best for you. And Ori promised he'd come pick him up by dinnertime."

"Right." It had just passed noon, which meant there was quite a while to go until dinner, still. "And why is he crying?"

"How should I know? It's not like he can tell me, and I've never babysat him alone before. Usually I just shove him at someone else when he starts crying, they're all better at figuring it out than me."

"Well, if there's no clear reason such as hurting himself, he probably just misses his parents." At least the wailing was fading a bit now, replaced by loud sobs. "You sure know what you want, don't you, little one? A great set of lungs you have on you, that's for sure. Rather reminds me of your papa when he was your age."

"Papa!" This seemed to catch the child's attention, and Dwalin earned himself a teary gaze. "Papa!"

"Sorry, kiddo, no can do. You'll see him soon enough. For now you'll be fine with Uncle Nori and Uncle Dwalin, all right?" Sure, he was rather too distant to be called that, but he'd been uncle to the older princes and he'd be uncle to this one, too. Besides, he was sort of courting Nori, so clearly he had some claim to the title that way, too.

"Unca?" A little hand grasped at his beard, and Dwalin suppressed a wince. The little prince had a tight grip, which was good, but his hands were awfully messy after crying and rubbing his face. Oh well, it was hardly the worst thing Dwalin had ever had in his beard.

"That's right, your uncles are here. You're quite safe here, Kiri. No need to cry."

There was still some sniffling, but clearly the situation was improving.

Really, they had nothing to worry about.

*

"Would it be considered high treason to kill my brother?"

"That depends. Killing Dori would not, but I'm pretty sure killing Ori would qualify." Dwalin glanced at Nori from where he lay on the floor. "Which one were you thinking of? I think I'm obligated to tell Thorin if you're planning on killing the spouse of his heir."

"It would have to be Ori, wouldn't it? He's the one who handed the brat to me. And Thorin wouldn't mind, he'd understand my thirst for revenge. I'm willing to bet Fíli and Kíli were even worse when they were little." Nori looked at the mess of their sitting room, and the little monster currently giggling in a corner. It was the Durin blood that made him awful, Nori was sure. Ori had been such a calm little kid.

"Like you'd be able to harm a hair on his head." And, well, that was true, but Dwalin didn't really have to come out and say it like that. "Besides, if it's the babe who annoys you, shouldn't he be your target?"

"Pretty sure Kíli would kill me slowly for putting him back in line for the throne, then kill me again for harming his nephew. Not worth the trouble, I don't think."

"It's funny how out of all the possibilities it's Kíli who has you the most worried. Not that the lad isn't lethal when he sets his mind to it, but he'd hardly be my first concern if you started running around killing baby princes."

"Harder to get away from a bow than a blade. Besides, the rest might have some sympathy at least; Kíli just thinks his being a little beast is funny." Nori sighed, leaning against the nearest wall. "You're lucky you're fast, little blighter. Not many can boast escaping both of our clutches." It was ridiculous, really. Here they were, two grown dwarves, unable to corner a dwarfling who'd barely learnt to walk a few months back.

"At least there's only one of him. I'm still not sure Dís didn't bear her lads five years apart just so they could drive us all entirely insane."

"Oh, there's a comforting thought. The last thing this kingdom needs is a repeat of those two." Nori slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. "You know what, kid? Fine. You run around as you wish. There's no open blades in this room, nor fire; clearly you can't get yourself killed, so I'm going to let you run yourself to exhaustion."

"I second this." Dwalin barely lifted his hand. "I haven't been made this exhausted in the training grounds with his father and grand-uncle."

"Or maybe you're just getting old." As it happened, Dwalin was just close enough for Nori to nudge him with his foot. "It's unfortunate, really, to see a once mighty warrior so diminished in his old age."

"Oh, shut your trap." Dwalin snorted. "You're not that young yourself."

"Younger than you, certainly." Nori smirked. "Just look out, I'll soon decide you're too old for me and find someone younger and more vigorous to warm my bed."

Dwalin let out a growl, now, his hand coming up to snatch Nori's ankle. "I'd like to see some brat steal you from me."

"Now, now. I'm not some prize to be won, you know. I'll soon think you don't respect me." He wiggled his foot a bit, though he made no actual effort to free it from Dwalin's grasp.

"Hardly. I just know how hard I worked to win you over, and young ones don't have the patience." Dwalin gave his ankle a gentle squeeze, careful not to hurt him. "Besides, I doubt they would love you as much as I do."

"Are you saying I'm hard to love?"

"I'd think that goes without saying." Dwalin grinned. "Besides that, though, who could love anyone more than a dwarf does his One?"

"Oi, you." Nori nudged him again. "You know how I feel about sappy stuff like that."

"You can't really admit you like it so you pretend to be asleep when I whisper it to you at night but somehow you still draw closer to me?"

Nori was rather proud of himself for not blushing. In anger, of course. He would have been blushing in anger at such nonsense. Instead, he lifted his eyebrows. "Murmuring to me in my sleep, you say? Now whatever is there you cannot say to my face?"

"Oh, a lot of things." Dwalin's grin only got broader, the idiot. "How beautiful you are. How lucky I am to have you at last. How much time we wasted before figuring things out."

"A whole load of nonsense, then." And if it made him feel a bit warm inside, well, nobody had to know about that. "Wonder what everyone else would say if they knew the big, scary Captain of the Guard is nothing but mush inside."

Dwalin just laughed, the bastard. "Thorin wouldn't be surprised, I suppose. Nor Dís or her sons, though the lads at least know better than to call me on it. Anyone who doesn't know me personally wouldn't believe it either way, though, any more than they would believe how adorable you can be from time to time."

"I'm not adorable." What? He wasn't. To claim so was just ridiculous. "And don't you think it's a bit too quiet?"

"What do you mean, too quiet?" Dwalin frowned.

"No giggling. Also, nothing crashing to the floor or being thrown around." He turned his gaze from Dwalin and scanned the room. The little prince was gone from his corner, and after a moment's well-hidden panic Nori found him lying on the floor some ways away, deep asleep. "Aw, look at that. I think he's trying to mimic you."

"At least he's got good taste, then." Dwalin grinned, sitting up and looking over to the child. "Should we get him to a bed or something?"

"And risk waking him again? Nah. He looks pretty comfortable there. Let's just toss something over him so he won't get cold." Rather reminded him of Ori as a babe, really. He'd also had the habit of falling asleep just about anywhere.

"How long do you think we have?"

"Before he wakes? From what Ori's told me, an hour, maybe two. Should be enough to clear up most of this mess, and get something to eat, both for us and the babe." He sighed. "We do not want to let him get hungry. I'm not dealing with another bit of wailing."

"Indeed." Dwalin patted his leg. "You go get some food, I'll straighten the place up, eh? I figure you know better than I what we might get down the little tyke's throat."

Nori might have said something about the chances of finding any such thing, but he let Dwalin keep his illusions for now.

*

"No no no no!"

"I see you've learnt a new word, then." Dwalin would have liked to say quite a few choice words himself, but he refrained. Small pots and big ears and all that. "I don't guess you'd like to take a bite of food to celebrate?"

Nori sighed. "Ori always was such a picky eater," he murmured, tightening his hold on the child in his lap as Kiri tried to wriggle out of his arms. "Guess it runs in the family."

"It sure doesn't come from Fíli's side. That lad would eat anything put in front of him." His Highness Prince Kiri, on the other hand, obviously had a more discerning taste. Most of the foodstuffs they'd tried to offer to him — berries, mashed up potatoes, and other such things that were kind to a mouth with very few teeth — had ended up mostly on the floor and in Dwalin's hair and beard, or all over the babe himself. All in all Dwalin wasn't sure he'd managed to get more than a few spoonfuls past the little lad's lips.

"Glad to hear there's at least one way in which our future king wasn't a complete hellion." Nori shook his head. "We have any left of that stew we ate?"

Dwalin frowned. "A bit, but that's hardly suited for the tyke. You've seen he won't want the potatoes, and I don't fancy my chances with the veggies. The meat is good, but I think it's too big bites for him, yet."

"Oh, aye. But we do need to get something into him. I was thinking we could take pieces of bread and dip them in the stew; won't be as dry that way."

"Learnt that with Ori, did you?"

"Indeed. Bread in stew, bread in broth, bread in milk. He liked it best when we had some meat in the pot, but even when we couldn't afford any Dori usually managed to get enough into his mouth he wouldn't right starve."

"And, knowing Dori, went without sometimes so the lad could eat." As had Nori done, or so Dwalin suspected; however, he knew better than to bring that up. From there it was a short distance to speaking of other things Nori had done for the sake of his brothers, and that was not a road they needed to travel ever again. Not now, when Nori was all honourable and respectable.

"Of course. He wouldn't be Dori otherwise." Nori chuckled. "Runs in the family, too. You know Ori would go against another dragon in a heartbeat if that was what it took to keep this one safe and fed."

"So he would. And kick anyone who tried to stand in his way, too." Dwalin set aside the messy plate as a lost cause, then got up to get the leftover stew and some bread. "You know, Thorin was worried when Fíli first started courting him. Not that Ori isn't good enough, don't make that face I know you're making at my back, but that Fíli might push him into something he didn't want, being the more forceful one."

Nori snorted at that. "Seems clear Thorin didn't know him well then. Quiet he may be, and shy sometimes, but when he's got his mind set not even Dori can sway him, and Ori thinks Dori a much bigger obstacle than any dragon. If anything, I'd have worried for Fíli once Ori got it in his head to be courted by him."

"Oh, we've noticed that now. A warrior's heart, that one has." Dwalin grinned. "And this little one seems to have that and then some."

"He's a Durin and a Ri. Never was going to be an easy child, this." Nori adjusted his hold on Kiri as Dwalin returned with his new offerings. "Now let's try and get him to eat something at least."

It took some doing, and a lot more mess, but at last they were convinced the next bite was refused because the tyke was full and not because he was just intent on driving both of them bonkers. Dwalin sighed, setting the rest aside and stretching himself.

"Well, that took some doing," he grumbled. "Durin's hairy balls, I can't imagine how they keep him fed every day."

"Ballz!"

Dwalin froze, then turned slowly to look at the child. The little prince was giggling, now, holding a hand to his messy mouth and grinning at them.

"Ballz!" Great, so he hadn't misheard it the first time.

"Yes, that's right, balls." Nori patted the boy on the head, though he seemed to be very careful about finding a remotely clean spot. "Since you ate your food nicely, Uncle Dwalin will run down to the market and buy you a new ball or two to play with."

Dwalin lifted his eyebrows. "I will?"

"Oh, sure you will. Unless you'd like to tell Ori just how he learnt this delightful new word?" Nori lifted his eyebrows in turn, which Dwalin had to admit made a more remarkable point than his own.

He thought of an angry Ori, and shuddered. That was something he did not want to deal with. "Fine. I'll go get him some balls, if you clean up the mess."

"Will do. You might want to clean yourself up first, though; wouldn't want everyone to think you can't even feed yourself nice and neat."

Dwalin scowled down at his beard. It was a very fine beard, and what little he had left of his hair was very fine hair, thick and dark with just a smattering of silver that had emerged in the recent years. Perhaps he wasn't as picky about it as Nori was about his, but it was more than presentable.

Well. It was presentable when it wasn't practically covered in mushed-up baby food.

"One day you'll have to sit on a diplomatic dinner and eat everything with a smile, even if it's some elven weeds and leaves," he warned, pointing his finger at Kiri. "And when that day comes, you're going to be sorry you didn't learn a proper appetite early on."

"No, Unca." Kiri pointed a finger right back at him. "No no no no."

"I'm not arguing with you until you learn more words, you know." Right. He had a beard to clean, and he probably should change his shirt, too. And then to find some toy balls.

Mahal help him, there had better be some balls at the market.

*

"Where's my favourite little prince?"

"Da!" The delighted squeal was high enough to pierce ears, but to Nori it was the most wonderful music. Ori was here, which meant he'd take his hellspawn away, which meant they could finally get a bit of rest. Well, they could after dinner, anyway, because he was fairly sure Dwalin was supposed to show up, which meant Nori would also have to attend if only to defend the big oaf against any unwanted attentions from the less bright and more daring of Dáin's delegates.

"That's right, Da's here." Ori grinned as he crouched down to greet his son, arms stretched out to snatch him up as soon as he came within reach. "Have you been good for your uncles?"

"Oh, you know, he was wonderful. All charm and smiles. No trouble at all."

Ori snorted, a rather indelicate sound for someone clad in the nicest velvets and jewels Erebor had to offer. It really warmed a brother's heart, seeing how far his baby brother had come in life, and yet he managed to be Ori at heart. "If that were true, I'd wonder if you've switched him for someone else. I know my son, and much though I love him, he's all trouble."

"So there was a rough patch here and there." Dwalin chuckled. "He's a babe. He'll grow up."

"Oh, sure. And if we're lucky, Fíli might grow up before that." Ori was joking, Nori knew that; the crown prince had matured a lot since their quest, even more so after Kiri's arrival. Still, there was a hint of truth to it, too. "Sorry to dump him on you without more warning. Kíli was supposed to be minding him today, but Tauriel was summoned to Dale to deal with some trade disagreements with the elves, and you know he'd gargle glass before he let her deal with Thranduil's people on her own. I think he suspects they're out to kidnap her or worse."

"I'm not convinced he's wrong in his suspicions, considering even she doubts them enough that she allows Kíli to grumble at her elbow every time." Nori shrugged. "In any case, we all survived. Nothing irreplaceable got broken, you've got your son back with as many parts as you left him with, and he's even got a new word out of it."

"Really, now?" Ori grinned at Kiri. "Did you learn a new word, jewel?" He looked right like this, Nori decided, richly dressed and healthy and happy, with a pudgy babe in his arms, with jewelled beads in his braids and yet ink stains in his fingers. Whatever else he might have thought of Fíli, at least he was clearly making Ori happy.

"Ballz!" And again a happy squeal. It was a wonder Ori wasn't as deaf as Óin by now, and Fíli as well.

"Is that so." Ori lifted his eyebrows. "And let me guess, your uncles got you nice new toy balls and that's how you learnt the word?" At Nori and Dwalin's expressions, he laughed. "He's already got them from Kíli and Thorin. Fíli's convinced he's doing it on purpose, while I'd like to think he's too young for such schemes and he's just repeating the word when he hears it."

"I'm not sure if I should be worried or delighted for Erebor with that child sitting second in line." Nori shook his head. "But then, maybe a bit of scheming is what the line of Durin needs. Mahal knows the current generation can be too direct sometimes."

"And yet we love them," Ori replied before Dwalin could even get a proper protest out. "Seriously, though, thank you for watching him. I owe you a huge favour."

"Indeed you do. And I'm not about to forget it." Nori grinned. "Now, shoo. I've had enough of princes for today."

It still took another moment for Ori to gather Kiri's things, and to remind them about the grand dinner, and to thank them once again, but at last they were left alone in their rooms. Most of the mess had been cleared away, both from eating and from what Kiri probably counted as playing and Nori called "throwing stuff around and laughing", and while he could certainly feel that he'd done a lot of rushing to and fro, Nori wasn't quite as exhausted as he had feared. For the last hour or two Kiri had almost been peaceful, playing with his new toys and babbling nonsense in the tones of one who believed he was imparting priceless knowledge.

"So, we survived that."

"That we did." Nori stepped closer to Dwalin and leaned against his side. "I can't imagine how you ever got through playing uncle to two toddlers at a time. And Thorin, and Dís! I knew she's a formidable dam, but the thought of dealing with that twice over all day, every day chills my blood right in my veins."

"Aye, indeed. Let's hope he calms down as he grows older, or we'll all be in trouble."

For a moment they were both silent, Nori rather enjoying the strong, steady presence of Dwalin at his side. An arm settled at his waist, and he allowed it. This was good.

"Hey, Nori?"

"Hm?" He couldn't offer words right now. If Dwalin expected words, he had the wrong dwarf.

"I kind of want one."

"A kid?"

"Aye."

"I'd say something about the madness of Durin's line," Nori murmured, "but I'm afraid I want one, too."


End file.
